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Joke of the Day

"Why did helium get into a fight with neon? They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try."

"While on vacation the desk clerk at the London hotel told me I'd only get the key to my room if I presented him with 250 pounds... ... so I introduced him to my wife."

"Me:OMG RYAN GOSLING DIED! Oh. His hair. He dyed his hair. Brown. Can U believe that was a story? Husband: I think it worked great. Me:Zip it"

"How do you catch a Douchebag? JerkBait."

"I met a girl with 12 boobs once... sounds funny dozen tit."

"A Sexist Joke: Why are women bad at parking? Because they've been lied to all their lives about how long ""8"" inches *really* is."

"How do you start making big bucks? With a little doe"

"On page 24 of the world record book I'm listed as the men with the longest penis. At page 69 I'm listed as world's best liar."

"Why do programmers drink coffee so much? So they aren't lying when they say they like Java."

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."