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Joke of the Day

"I recently became a father Is a weird way to say I just got a girlfriend and she started calling me ""Daddy."""

"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"

"Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That shit hurt."

"10 Ways to disguise Click Bait! Edit:Thnx for the gold stranger :)"

"I got nothing better to do, dude in a Prius, I will absolutely follow you all the way home just to let you know you're a terrible driver"

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong sock on this morning."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping on the bus? He woke up."

"Why are prostate exams so important? They show how much of an asshole you are"

"What did the mexican do when he lost his car in the parking lot? He pressed hispanic button"

"""my eye is up here"" -Illuminati pyramid"