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Joke of the Day
"Black and Mexican jokes are the same Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."
Next Joke
"If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away."
"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."
"Went to the zoo today. There was only one animal. It was a ""shitzu."""
"I just want to be as happy as a character in the first half hour of a horror movie"
"How did my operation go Doc? Dr ; What? Dr ; Omg I've only got half a colon?"
"I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people."
"What's a gay couples least favorite fruit? Cantaloupe."
"What is your favorite ""There are two kinds of people..."" joke? My favorite is ""There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."""
"I just put a bottle antifreeze in the freezer. Place your bets now."