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Joke of the Day
"What's a gay couples least favorite fruit? Cantaloupe."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the legless man who got his wheelchair taken away? He was floored."
"If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?"
"[Trying to impress a cute girl with glasses] HER: So what kind of car do you drive? ME: A bookmobile."
"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""
"[at funeral] ""my phone is vibrating"" want me to create a distraction so you can answer it? ""no, are you craz- *points at casket* HE BLINKED"
"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So you're the one!"
"What's the difference between a crackhead and a John? A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him."
"My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool"
"Spell ""attic"" without laughing out loud"