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Joke of the Day

"What is your favorite ""There are two kinds of people..."" joke? My favorite is ""There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."""

"Seriously guys, people drive like shit when I'm tweeting"

"You're scared of pedophiles? Grow up."

"I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body."

"Why was skrillex banned from the music shop? for dropping the bass too much"

"I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think."

"What is a ghost's favorite street? A boooooooolevard."

"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."

"How do you make $3 million in 48 seconds? Ask Ronda Rousey!"

"Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Hell yes! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."