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Joke of the Day

"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."

"My girlfriend asked me to get her something that made her look sexy. I got drunk!"

"This has to be the worst date I have ever had. That includes the time that I accidentally answered my uncle's personal ad...."

"Genders are like the Twin Towers There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject."

"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."

"Damn girl are you baking chocolate? Because you're bitter as fuck."

"Oscar Pistorius found guilty of murder Police say he is now on the run."

"People who eat endangered birds... Will die lonely and full of egret."

"Before sprinting towards the elevator, ask yourself, ""Am I hot enough to make them hold the door?"""

"I've heard some great 9/11 humour, it's like two pies in the face and one in a field in Pennsylvania"