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Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both."

Next Joke
 
"What are two things you can't give a black person? (Semi racist) A black eye and a fat lip."
"Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road? It got stuck in a crack."
"So two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... BAH DUM TSSH"
"Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then."
"I have nothing against gynecologists... I just don't like them in genital."
"Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?"
"Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what?"
"I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?"
"I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says ""Text Me"""