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Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both."

"Ray Rice and Janay Rice go together..... like peanut butter..and whatever punches peanut butter in the face"

"What did the Giant say after he ate Tonga? 'I want Samoa!'"

"What's a pirates FAVORITE letter? *They ALWAYS say Rrrrr* ""You'd think its Rrrrr but it's the sea they love"""

"What was left in the bathroom on the starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."

"that awkward moment when a friend is complaining about their spouse, but you start to identify with the spouse"

"Why is Santas sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"

"I was playing snooker with my mate, Dave, down the pub last night. We finished setting the table up and he said to me, ""do you wanna break?"" ""We've haven't even started yet, you lazy cunt!"""

"What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A passenger you racist fuck."

"Is it gay in here or is it just Glee?"