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Joke of the Day

"Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?"

"Why hello, dear! ""trent, did you bring cue cards to read off of during our date?"" Lovely weather! ""and did you only bring two?"" Why hello, d"

"Why did the paralympic athlete loose the race? He didn't start off with the right foot. EDIT: Ortography"

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint"

"Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them."

"What's the difference between an egg and a root? You can beat an egg, but you can't beet a root!"

"Why are there so few gay comedians? It's hard for them to keep a straight face."

"Uhm, excuse me waiter... I'd like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram."

"The way I deal with my drinking problems is every time I want a drink I go to the gym. They have a bar there."

"woman on death row Warden: ""What would you like for your last meal?"" Woman: ""I don't know, what do you want?"""