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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't Christopher Reeve pay his landlord? Back rent."
Next Joke
"A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach. ""That won't help you, Joe, you know?"" ""Oh it helps a lot,"" says the man, ""it's the only way I can see the numbers!"""
"I like my coffee like my humor. I drink tea."
"People are always telling me I don't have friends, but they're wrong. I have all 10 seasons on DVD."
"I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say I can't wear a ski mask in a bank"
"[answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me."
"My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-("
"Why did the console peasants walk across the road? To render the building on the other side."
"My children annoy me so I'm leaving everything in my will to a nap I took in 2007."
"What do Lena Dunham & ISIS have in common ? They both love stoning women."