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Joke of the Day

"What are two things you can't give a black person? (Semi racist) A black eye and a fat lip."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"How did you quit smoking? Decided to smoke only after sex"

"I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"pooping on a party is still the number one way to poop a party."

"Onions are a lot like knives.... If you get them in your eye you'll probably cry"

"What did the spice say during climax? I'm cumin! I'm cumin!"

"How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh? It weighs *Won-ton*"

"My friend had a stroke and half his body went dead He's all right now."

"Where do lobsters buy their work clothes? Homardware."