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Joke of the Day

"Why do ducks have flat feet? So they can stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stamp out flaming ducks."

"What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have? Lo mein."

"What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was a salted."

"[knock at door] Cop: open up, it's the police Me [doing an Estonian accent]: I'm not here Cop: are you in Estonia? Me: I am. I'm in Estonia"

"Two condoms walk by a gay bar... One says to the other, ""Wanna go inside and get shitfaced?"""

"I wonder who I'll be racist against when I'm elderly. I hope it's robots!!"

"Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines."

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure Salad"