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Joke of the Day

"[dj voice] ""Make some noise, Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""Whatcha wanna hear, I'm taking requests"" [in unison] HI TAKING REQUESTS I'M DAD"

"When I think of you, I touch myself. With my finger. In the back of my throat to help me vomit because you make me nauseous."

"I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!"

"[Nsfw] What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere."

"Some people just want to watch the world burn. Other people just don't vote for Trump."

"Whats the stupidest animal in the Jungle? the Polar Bear"

"Why does Ganondorf hate reddit Because it has too many links! (I'll show myself out :) )"

"What's an Ancient Roman's favorite sex position? LXIX."

"What do you call a group of men with flat butts? Assless Chaps"