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Joke of the Day
"What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have? Lo mein."
Next Joke
"I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers."
"It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?"
"what is brown and sticky? A stick"
"Add 5 years onto your age That's how old you'll be in 5 years."
"Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"HEAD OF THE NATIONAL WEATHER SEVICE: so how will we name all these hurricanes? GARY, WHOS BEEN DIVORCED 31 TIMES: i have an idea"
"My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word ""cunt."" I suppose she has a point, I really should make an effort to learn her mother's real name."
"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"
"After mating, a female Praying Mantis kills & eat's the male. Guess she knows it's easier to claim life insurance rather than child support."