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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure Salad"
Next Joke
"Ladies, don't be fooled. Sometimes, your knight in shining armor, is just a retard in tin foil."
"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."
"Her: ""Your funny"" Me: "".... Uh ya... this isn't gonna work"""
"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."
"*calls wife into the bedroom* *dims the lights* *turns on Marvin Gaye* *sexily sweeps toddler's collection of trucks off the bed*"
"Nothing enrages me more than a pop-up ad that MOVES SO YOU CAN'T CLICK THE X."
"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"
"If your Uncle Jack helped you off a horse, would you help your Uncle Jack off a horse?"
"Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now? What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs."