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Joke of the Day

"If you're a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I'm automatically assuming you're a cat that learned to use a computer."

"Even if I had a refrigerator with glass doors; I would still stand there with the door open."

"Did you guys hear about the butcher who backed up into his meat grinder? I hear he got alittle behind in his work"

"Have you heard the joke about the kid who was deaf? neither has he"

"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."

"I opened my closet, looking for my boots. And there they were... Gone! (as told to my by my Bella-Russian-Canadian (and redditor) friend)..."

"Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer"

"A Seahawk was offered some drugs... ""I'll pass."""

"What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine? The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth"

"Give me a screwdriver Normal thing for a mechanic to say to his lackey. Start of a sexual harrassment case for Britney Spears."