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Joke of the Day

"What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine? The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth"

"Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her."

"I couldn't remember the term ""hazmat suit,"" so I called it a ""science burqa."""

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? ....Dam."

"I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I'm still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it."

"How many French words has the Turkish language recently adopted? Beaucoup."

"Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."

"What does a baby in a blender sound like? I don't know, I couldn't hear it over the sound of my masturbating."

"TIL that the term ""A stroke of luck"" has more than one meaning- -when my fortune teller gave me a handjob."

"I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people."