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Joke of the Day

"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."

"Have you ever heard of that car with an engine made of wood? It wooden go."

"Reality show idea: ""So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose."" Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it."

"What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion? Two fingers."

"I am motherfucking sick of the motherfucking delays on this motherfucking train!"

"Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious. They're so full of themselves."

"What has 99 legs and one tooth? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who need closure (told by Cortana)"

"7yo: Why can't I have coffee? Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are 7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!"

"(for this tweet pretend you've heard of the 1999 French film ""Human Resources"") Human Resources 2: This Time it's Personnel"