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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!"

"""Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain streaking"" [pilot darts out of the cockpit completely naked]"

"If at first you don't succeed, GREAT. Now you know not to waste your time on that ever again. Fuck that shit. Lesson learned."

"I had a boner during a funeral. I call it the ""Mourning Wood""."

"Let's be honest. They're windshield wipers for about a week, then they're just smudgers."

"What do you do if a purple elephant and a multicolored horse are following you? get off the merry-go-round! :)"

"What is it called when you kill a friend? Homiecide.... I'll^see^myself^out..."

"What do you call a communist sniper A Marxman"

"Things you can't touch: 1. Happines 2. The Easter Bunny 3. Your wife's sister 4. This"

"Why are Michael J. Fox's milkshakes the best? He uses the best ingredients Stay classy ;)"