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Joke of the Day

"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the graphics on the other side"

"Do you guys like corny jokes? Because I have some absolutely a-maize-ing ones!"

"Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella."

"Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles"

"My girlfriend says a 4"" penis is just fine. Still, I wish she didn't have one."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? ""Its a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."""

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long if you're fat."

"Hey let me tell you an IT joke: how many meters is there in a kilometer? 1024"

"What is the last sound you hear before a pubic hair hits the floor? PTEWIE!"