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Joke of the Day

"Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head."

"My dad used to say ""fight fire with fire"" I guess that explains why he got thrown out of the fire brigade"

"Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle they put it around her neck"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !"

"Census confirms... that one in two and a half men is HIV Positive."

"What do you call it when Gandhi starts a food fight? Naan violence"

"What's a junkie's favorite videogame? Need for Speed."

"Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work."

"Just realized after two years that my boss is actually a grapefruit covered in ramen noodles with peanut eyes. Still very afraid of him."

"If you ever feel like you are worthless, just remember... You were once the fastest sperm."