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Joke of the Day

"On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm."

"""Mom! I'm going out!"" - You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt - Why not? - Because I can see your balls, Richard."

"Today a girl kissed me I wish I could post it in another subreddit Edit: Thanks for gold :D"

"What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes? Get a small hankie!"

"I've been tanning I'm getting so dark I'm afraid of getting shot by the police"

"Two condoms are walking down the street when they pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey man, wanna go get shit faced?"""

"Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they're asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions."

"What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today? Scratching at the lid of his coffin."

"I have the cutest bird in the world... ...a Jackd'awww."

"Do they still call it hump day in prison?"