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Joke of the Day

"""Mom! I'm going out!"" - You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt - Why not? - Because I can see your balls, Richard."

"FedEx and UPS are merging. Everyone is now Fed-Up"

"Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk."

"What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer. :("

"What is a buddhist's favorite pizza? One with everything"

"I have emotional constipation I haven't given a shit in years!"

"When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath what is still dirty? The bathtub."

"Arby's also has a secret menu. If you order a ""phone book"" they bring you a phone book and you can find any other place to eat."

"What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family."

"How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair."