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Joke of the Day
"Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin? It wanted to play squash."
Next Joke
"Poop jokes are great, But sometimes they're slightly corny."
"If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?"
"How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear."
"The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, ""Happy Birthday"" just to get cake."
"What do you call a 100 year old ant ? An antique !"
"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."
"Me: I weigh 10x more than the cat and yet she trusts me completely. So sweet. You: Me: You: It's a lot more than 10x. Me: Don't ruin this."
"Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat."
"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice? polar-oids"