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Joke of the Day

"A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats."

"I have a new Obama joke, but... not many people approve."

"What's worse than lobsters on your piano? Syphilis"

"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."

"It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia"

"Hey, NSA, if you're going to read them, would it kill you to star them?"

"Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor? He never mentions ""on the other hand"""

"There's nothing I've learned from being a father that I couldn't just as easily have figured out from setting all my money on fire."

"TIFU when my HS friends and me tried to pull a prank on a substitute teacher wrong sub"

"Rick Astley will give you all of his Disney movies. But he is never gonna give you Up"