105306

Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to get her something she can use for her birthday this year. So I got her a face-lift and a tummy tuck."

"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""

"Her: Hi, I'm Jane Me: I'm Christopher, but everyone calls me Dick for short. Her: How do you get Dick from Christopher? Me: You Ask nicely."

"I ruined tonight's chilli. My ~~brother~~ sister said it was too spicey."

"Why didn't the paraplegic look in the mirror? He couldn't stand to see himself like that."

"Girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke."

"My Grandpa owned a hot dog chain in Germany... You might have heard of it...""Anne's Franks"""

"Malaysia has some of the world's best magicians They make entire planes disappear."

"Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms."

"I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers... B9"