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Joke of the Day

"Her: Hi, I'm Jane Me: I'm Christopher, but everyone calls me Dick for short. Her: How do you get Dick from Christopher? Me: You Ask nicely."

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

"How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning? By opening the car door."

"Mechanic: that's gonna cost $2000 Me: how much? Mechanic: $3000 Me: what did you say before that Mechanic: I said ""that's gonna cost"""

"How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue!"

"I don't have a swimmer's body. I have more of a drowning to death body. #Olympics"

"Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst"

"If you burn a cookie in the shape of a Star Wars character... ...is it crunchy or Chewie?"

"Here I sit all broken hearted tried to shit but only farted. Then one day I took a chance, tried to fart and shat my pants. My dad called that one The Standard"

"Who will Donald Trump blame when he loses the presidential bid? Of course every Juan!"