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Joke of the Day

"I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger"

"tight pants What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? no ballroom."

"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."

"What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Cheese isn't just grate, it's legendairy."

"My psychiatrist asked me about how many times a day I exaggerate. I responded, ""Like a billion."""

"Whenever we eat hummus my girlfriend always says to me.... HUMMUS IS YUMMUS!!!!!"

"Another Tom Swifty ""I have only diamonds, clubs, and spades,"" said Tom heartlessly."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"""Your storage is full"" thanks Apple, I'll just go and delete some photos of friends and family, but at least I'll always have the stocks app"