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Joke of the Day
"My psychiatrist asked me about how many times a day I exaggerate. I responded, ""Like a billion."""
Next Joke
"My dad would always say this, I don't know if this classifies as a joke, but it's funny I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest Also: That smell could knock a buzzard off a shitpile"
"What does a gay guy and a freezer have in common? Both get packed with meat. I'll show myself out."
"Did you hear that Napoleon broke the Sphinx's nose with a singe shot? It was a one-hit wonder. I'll show myself out."
"Cop: [knocks] Dinosaur: can I help you? Cop: we've had reports of small arms fire [Flaming T-Rex runs past screaming]"
"A woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her."
"LPT: If you're single this weekend, remember... Name your hands and you'll have an instant threesome! Happy Valentine's day!"
"estoy embarazada - Mi amor, estoy embarazada. Que te gustaria que fuera? - Una broma?."
"[First date & I'm super nervous] Her: Are you ok? Me: yesh. Her: did u just say yesh? Me: um Nosh."
"Pharrell Williams put out a fire on Kim Kardashian's dress this week. Dude is really taking that Smokey the Bear hat of his to heart."