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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a joke...? Youtube ToS."

"A pair of mittens says to a hat, ""I'll stay here, you go on a head"""

"Holy Communion: PRIEST:""This is the body of Christ. Take it "" ME:""Uum,can I instagram it first?"" *We laughed & then I was excommunicated*"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! ... I'll see myself out."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... ...one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"A lot of beautiful women have told me that I am a looker... and that I should stop."

"apparently, Twilight is ""so popular"" because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire."

"Flappy bird is like the new angry bird except this time I am the angry one."

"A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder."

"Me: You're going to disagree with this statement. Wife: No I'm not."