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Joke of the Day
"Flappy bird is like the new angry bird except this time I am the angry one."
Next Joke
"Two Apple Farmers, a baby, and an extremely agitated Sugar Glider walk into a bar... ... ... ... ... ... I don't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore."
"What did the one wall say to the other wall? ""Meet you at the corner"""
"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"
"I was gonna open a clothing store for midgets... ... but the market was too small."
"I'm not crazy, my reality is just prettier than yours."
"She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically."
"Two Men Walk Into a Bar the third one ducks"
"Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?"
"Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. I think I'll return the piece of shit to Ikea!"