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Joke of the Day

"apparently, Twilight is ""so popular"" because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire."

"I was going to be a baker But I couldn't raise enough dough."

"""Eat her already!"" - Animal watching people kissing"

"How British is Adele ? She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is ."

"Q. Why is gettig a blowjob from Joan Rivers like Going over Niagara Falls on a tightrope? A. They can both be life-enhancing experiences....unless you look down."

"[to snake at news station] you can't do weather anymore ""ssswhy not?"" are we getting rain tomorrow? ""sssno"" do you see how that's confusing?"

"JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat"

"There ain't enough tailgatin' in this country. Folks would like workin' and schoolin' more if they could tailgate in the parkin' lot first."

"I threw out a sheep, a drum and a snake from an airplane Ba-dum-tss"

"I invented a sport called Mexican football You take a Mexican and kick him over a wall."