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Joke of the Day

"So Mrs Lincoln... Besides that, how'd you like the play?"

"""What are you reading?"" Great Expectations. ""Is it any good?"" It's not all I hoped for."

"Women only call me ugly until they see how much money I make... Then they don't call me at all"

"why does dr. pepper come in a bottle? his wife died."

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here, I'm going to go on a head."

"The Social Justice League doesn't have a Batmobile They have a tumbler."

"I hurt my knee the other day... ...but I'm not sure if it was my low knee or my high knee."

"An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job... No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer"

"How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules? Post something humorous in /r/lounge. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?"

"What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short."