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Joke of the Day

"How do you say ""Fuck you"" in American Sign Language? Lift your hand up and put all fingers down except your middle finger."

"What do you call a gay couch? A homo-sectional."

"What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

"Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek? Because nobody is looking for them."

"Fog is like lingerie for the sky."

"Everyone is entitled to my opinion."

"INTERVIEWER: says here you were fired previously? ME: yeah, I tried putting pizza in the copier INTERVIEWER: [excitedly] did... did it work?"

"I wanted to kill myself by drinking 100 beers, but when I finished my second one, I felt much better."

"Hello 911. ""He's back what do I do?"" Brent? ""Yes"" It's the just the mailman remember ""Ok, sorry."" Bye ""Wait, he put something in my mailbo"

"""O honey, it looks like you got your period last night. I guess well need to get new shee- wait! Wait one minute!"" ~ Japanese flag designer"