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Joke of the Day

"Hello 911. ""He's back what do I do?"" Brent? ""Yes"" It's the just the mailman remember ""Ok, sorry."" Bye ""Wait, he put something in my mailbo"

"My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, ""I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."""

"Marriage is for men who miss staying with their parents."

"TIFU by posting in the wrong sub"

"Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?"

"How does a scientist make a hormone? The same way I do: don't pay her!"

"I'm a victim of child abuse Some kid in the park called me ugly"

"Guess what? Chicken butt"

"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"

"[Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]"