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Joke of the Day

"What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

"I use my notebook the same way I use my girlfriend. Just flip'em over every period."

"How are blowjobs and hollandaise sauce alike? You can't get either at home."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say to an 8 year old boy? Hey little boy, want to buy some candy?"

"The average human body contains enough human bones to make up an entire human skeleton."

"What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him."

"What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ? A computer with a lot of bites !"

"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."

"How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport? He got snowden."

"My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?"