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Joke of the Day

"I am never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink."

"SON: What's a sex tape? ME: Er well when er a man & a woman have er intercourse they S: No M: No? S: Dad. I know what sex is. What's a tape?"

"He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!"

"My dentist... has the heart of a lion. ( sitting on his office table)"

"The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds."

"If I had $1 for every time a girl has rejected me... I wouldn't be single anymore"

"How do you get a woman from to be, to bed? Give her the D."

"I hate adjectives Because they're terrible! \_()_/ "

"You know why T-Rex can't clap his hands? Because he's dead."

"Why did the poor dog chase his tail? Because he was trying to make both ends meet."