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Joke of the Day

"What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage? They go to Cannes"

"if it's called morning wood for men then what is it for women.. Morning dew."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? The last place you left it."

"I ran my car into a pole The poor bastard never saw me coming"

"Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood."

"Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday? He likes to keep things low key."

"*sees burglar *throws flashlight at him *misses *throws another *misses *throws another *misses *throws another Burglar: WTF Me: COSTCO"

"Why doesn't the weatherman just say cloudy with a 90% chance of bullshit? Because that's pretty much what the forecast has been lately."

"I always hated weddings... I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying ""You're next."". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals."

"What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body? I wanna Bone a part"