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Joke of the Day

"Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood."

"What's the difference between my daughter and my wife? I need viagra to maintain erection with my wife."

"Unfortunate man comes back from a war A man was relieved from service after losing his feet. His wife subsequently left him because she was lactose intolerant."

"Where do bears store their military weapons? In bearracks."

"Sam Allardyce is a disgrace and needs to be punished, humiliated and made an example of... Therefore he should continue as England Manager"

"How do you think the unthinkable? with an itheberg."

"How do we know burgers love young people? They're pro-teen!"

"I've got 66 problems and being upside-down is one."

"What do women and the square root of 2 have in common? They're both irrational."

"It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast"