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Joke of the Day

"""I'm gonna get a tattoo that says 'Helvetica', written in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her."""

"I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment."

"Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can't help thinking...I'll never have abs like that."

"Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job."

"Why are you all sweaty? I was watching cops"

"Connecting to a wifi named 'Martin Router King' ... ... and suddenly I have a stream."

"I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now."

"Of course Tom Cruise will complete his mission. With Xenu, all things are possible."

"A woman calls the police claiming a one armed man is trying to kill her... They say to her ""don't worry about him mam, he's hARMLESS."""

"Why is revenge a dish best served cold? Because it's just-ice"