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Joke of the Day

"Today is Star Wars Day, which means we should all reflect on a simpler time in our lives, when Harrison Ford didn't have an earring."

"Q: ""How long were you at your last job?"" A: ""Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"""

"Go to a botanical garden? Haha, yeah, okay. Like I want to pay money to walk through a giant salad"

"My dick was once in the Guinness Book of Records. World's smallest dick."

"What do you call a girl with one leg. Eileen."

"I wish we could still defeat bullies with synchronized dancing like in the 80s"

"If you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb."

"Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin...no matter how epic it is"

"Apparently, ""Step up your game"" isn't the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are."

"Madonna falls off stage apparently she was supposed to untie her cape so that her dancers could rip it off her. i guess madonna is not as good at pulling things off as she used to be."