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Joke of the Day

"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."

"Hey Bradley Cooper's eyes: the most beautiful sky imaginable called - it wants it's color back"

"Is milk the best workout supplement? No, whey man! (My first dad joke, im so proud!)"

"Did you know frogs can jump higher than houses? This is for two reasons: 1. Frogs have extremely strong hind legs. 2. Houses can't jump."

"[Enter restaurant] WIFE: See if you can get us a table ME: Ok [1 minute later] ME: [sprinting towards wife, carrying table] START THE CAR"

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch 'em all!"

"My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim."

"What name do you give to a frog? (croaky voice) ROBBERT"

"How do you tell a chemist no? Nitrogen Monoxide"

"What's Batman's favorite fruit? Bananananananananana"