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Joke of the Day

"Did you know frogs can jump higher than houses? This is for two reasons: 1. Frogs have extremely strong hind legs. 2. Houses can't jump."

"My dick is so big that if I laid it out on a keyboard, it would go from A to Z. Wait, shit."

"A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out-standing in his field."

"My Iraqi friend skyped me today Something hilarious must've been happening because I kept hearing ""Hahahahallahu hahahkbar"" and then what sounded like party poppers. Abdul sure is a mad one."

"Why does a jew watch pornography backwards? He wants to see the prostitute give back money."

"What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire? Roasting a chicken."

"I once saw a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds..."

"A toilet beat me at a game of Poker. I had a straight; it had a flush."

"Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?"