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Joke of the Day

"Heisenberg is driving down the highway and gets pulled over by a cop... Cops says, ""Do you have any idea how fast you were going."" Heisenberg says, ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

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"Donald trump already has a private jet he plans on putting in production for his presidency. He's calling it the hair force one."
"The hipster A hipster was traveling down some river rapids. He came across a fork in the river and decided to take the left fork because the right was too mainstream"
"cashier at the book store told me to ""take it easy"" so I stabbed her in the neck with my keys because nobody tells me how to live my life."
"Why did two ferrets decide to meet? They were trying to start a business."
"Love may be blind Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease? He just shakes it off."
"Two Muffins are sitting in an oven... The first muffin says ""Man, it is hot in here!"" then the second muffin says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"A man cuts a hunk of meat from his torso and cooks it in a pan. As he bleeds out, he realises: ""I've made a big me-steak"""
"What did the Alabama State sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? The worst case of suicide he has ever seen."