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Joke of the Day

"The hipster A hipster was traveling down some river rapids. He came across a fork in the river and decided to take the left fork because the right was too mainstream"

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"The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave"
"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? One has cunning stunts the other has stunning..."
"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."
"Why don't black people go on cruises? They already fell for that once."
"I have a condition that makes my heart rate jump when I see a poorly dressed person. It's called tackycardia."
"Our grandchildren in 2060 ""Grandma, why did you look like a dog when you were a teen?"" I really hate that filter."
"One of these days you'll see the real me. Probably next week. I'm almost out of concealer."
"""You should only have to tell them once"" - People with no children"
"HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses."