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Joke of the Day

"Love may be blind Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."

"What's the difference between an Asian and a dumb white girl? The Asian try to get the A, but the white girl try to get the D"

"What do you call it when trash pandas pleasure each other orally? Coonilingus"

"Why is everyone worried about meteors instead of the possibility that Russia just got their own Superman?"

"Being clean and sober' means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store."

"ME: Jesus Christ, this is the slowest train I've ever travelled on BRIDE: Someone please get this prick off my dress"

"I'm dressing up as Bernie Sanders for halloween I'm going to take the candy from the rich kids and give it all to the poor ones"

"It has been proven that girls with profile picture of them selves in the mirror are more likely to send nudes."

"Potter household Voldemort: knock knock James: who's there? Voldemort: you know James: you know who? Voldemort: correct James: James: Fuck"

"Black and white... I've just woken up with black and white squares all over my face. I'll have to get this checked."