213254

Joke of the Day

"Donald trump already has a private jet he plans on putting in production for his presidency. He's calling it the hair force one."

"*crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*"

"What does a British man do when he finds a prostitute and is in the mood? He pounds."

"What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States? We wouldn't have to pay her as much."

"In marriage there are 3 types of rings The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering."

"Can anyone help me. I don't know where to park my boat and all the other captains are making fun of me. im under alot of pier pressure!"

"When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the ""math"" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes."

"I fart, why..because it's the only gas I can afford."

"I went to the bar with my 21 year old girlfriend... They called me a pedophile because I was 42. That totally ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"Me: *gestures to the bellhop to take my bags to my room* Vanilla Ice: Yo man, I don't work here M: *slips him a five* VI: Right away sir"