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Joke of the Day

"A cop accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He learned to never book a judge by their cover."

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"Why is a duck-billed platypus called a duck-billed platypus? Because fucked up duck-beaver lookin thing doesn't sound scientific enough."
"I don't like playing Uno with Mexicans... They always steal the green cards ..."
"Dear un-followers, I feel sorry for you... Your timeline will no longer be sexy. Sincerely, me"
"In honour of Agatha Christie, turn off all the lights and kill one of your work colleagues."
"I'm dating a half-Asian girl. Her mom's Korean and her dad's Korean, and her legs got torn off in a car accident. - Dan Mintz"
"What are the two oldest animals on Earth? The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white."
"1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank."
"It's chilly this morning. I should let my nipples do the typing."
"sometimes i watch online videos where people are so happy to see each other they make love naked"