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Joke of the Day

"1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank."

"A deeply religious man is trying to book a room at a hotel. He asks the receptionist if the pornography is disabled. To which she replies, ""No. We just have regular pornography, you sick fuck."""

"Jewish boy&father A jewish boy goes to his father and asks for 50 dollars. His father replies, 40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"

"A man walks into a bar... Looks like it hurt."

"What does the quantum duck say? Quark Quark"

"My thai girlfriend told me a small penis doesn't matter... ...I still wish she didn't have one though"

"I'm surprised that more people don't become astronauts The amount of space cadets I come across is startling"

"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."

"having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house"

"What's the best give you can give someone? A broken drum because you just can't beat it."