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Joke of the Day

"It's chilly this morning. I should let my nipples do the typing."

"What do you call a Japanese boy who just got beat by his dad after getting got masterbating? A fap happy jappy with a slap happy pappy."

"Mexican word of the day: Chicken Wing My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing some money."

"I'm not racist! I'll have you know my childhood best friend was black, but I haven't seen him since my dad sold him."

"""Hey guys, I just lost at the Golden Globes!"" - Louis CK, brilliantly introducing himself tonight."

"If I wrote an autobiography I bet it wouldn't sell Story of my life.."

"Santorum pulls out after repeatedly coming in number two"

"An Asian girl walks up to me in a bar. She says ***""Sex sex sex, free sex tonight!""*** Apparently she was giving me her number."

"Why should Steve Irwin have put on sunscreen? To protect himself from the harmful rays."

"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."