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Joke of the Day

"Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions? Because they're kiwis."

"What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common? They both look good until they hit the ice."

"Why is it whenever we see a police car, we drive like we have 10 kilos of cocaine and a stolen baby in the car?"

"What was the best part of being a blind smallpox inoculator in the 18th century? The great stories you get to read everyday."

"My 8yo knows exactly how many hours are left until Christmas but can't remember to flush the toilet."

"A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, ""what are you going to have?"" The seal replies, ""anything except Canadian club."""

"What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep."

"I'm sick of women staring at my spaceship. It's like, HELLO, my tentacles are up here!"

"US Soccer Joke What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup? Ghana-RIO!"

"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."