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Joke of the Day

"I don't like playing Uno with Mexicans... They always steal the green cards ..."

"If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head."

"If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you."

"Told my doctor I wanted him to check my prostate without lube He put both his hands on my shoulders and went to town"

"My first post. It's also a tech pun. Konrad Zuse's Z1 was so slow it hertz."

"What did the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted snow flakes. My 4.5 y/o son came up with this joke, but his punch line was ""snow flakes"". I added the ""frosted"". Teamwork."

"Three old men are sitting on a bench One says, ""Windy today."" Another says, ""No you idiot, it's Thursday."" The third one says, ""Me too. Let's go get a beer."""

"What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny? an anti-joke."

"The quickest way to a woman's heart is with a scalpel, a bonesaw, a chest spreader, & ten cc's of nothing to lose."

"You hear about those robbers who steal shoes for fun? It's how they get their kicks."